I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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