I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I understand Curling. That high.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
