real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
