if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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