Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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