This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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