i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Congratulations! We have a period
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