I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
