So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
