Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
