I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
