where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
