Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize