There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
