I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
