I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
