I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
jump out the window naked night went bad
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