I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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