Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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