pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
