Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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