Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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