i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
