Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
