I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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