Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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