i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
