I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
