I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
