Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
