So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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