I just pynch a tree in the face
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
