hell yes lets make some ravioli
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
