I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize