He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This house was built for laser tag.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize