I wannas sexs uuuuu
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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