God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i was born a porn star she said
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
