Can Purell be used as lube?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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