omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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