So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
