It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Your cock deserves a montage
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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