no, he came in my armpit
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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