I just cut my nipple shaving
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
