i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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