I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize