You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
