i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
