were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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