Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
