i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
