Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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