No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
