I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
