There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we're so committed to being not committed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
