Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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