Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
