Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
