Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
