another moral hangover. fuck.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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