lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
