You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
