and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
