By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
