My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize