Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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