Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
