Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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