Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, beer. Big fan.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
