Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
