how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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