You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
