Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
