Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I love black thongs
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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