Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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