Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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