Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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