I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
