Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize