There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
