Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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