I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
