I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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