no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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